Finding My Inner Yogi: A Journey From Darkness to Light
LifePower Yoga - November 05, 2012
This is the first in a series of blog posts about one student’s journey through the LifePower Yoga Teacher Training program, currently being held at various LifePower locations across the United States.
… Even the helpless victim of a hopeless situation, facing a fate he cannot change, may rise above himself, may grow beyond himself, and by so doing change himself. He may turn a personal tragedy into a triumph.
Viktor E. Frankel, Man’s Search for Meaning
RYAN'S YOGA STORY "What does it mean to be “happy”? How do I find “inner peace”? What is the meaning of my life? Who am I? These existential questions continue to plague man’s existence, and for many years, these questions plagued mine.
That is, until I found yoga.
Let me clarify: Yoga has not been a cure-all, nor has it been the end-all, be-all to the roller coaster of life. It has, however, opened the unknown potential inside of me. Yoga has been the savior of my sanity and improved my view of the world and people around me. It has become something that I wish to share and spread among others.
So, what, you may ask, brought me to this conclusion? How has yoga at Life Time, in a sense, saved me?
Stepping back, I suffered from – and continue to take medication for – severe depression. It spun web upon web around my brain, resulting in chaos and unstructured thinking. From obsessive-compulsive habits, which included and were not limited to, excessive drinking, over-exercising and painful body starvation. Chaos reigned over my life for years.
One Sunday, about five years ago, a friend invited me to a morning yoga class at Life Time Fitness Eagan.
At the time, I was preparing to run my first marathon, the 2008 Medtronic Twin Cities Marathon. All I did was run, meaning my body was one, big sore bundle of tissue. My friend said that yoga would be an essential addition to my training plan. It would stretch and lengthen my muscles.
Initially, I was skeptical. 'Yoga? That seems like a bunch of hippie nonsense. I don’t need that…'
In the end, I went to that Sunday morning class with her - a 75-minute class called “Fitness Yoga.” I wobbled and tipped my way through the class, and by the end, I was dripping with sweat. It was then that I became very aware of just how sore and tight my body was.
It was screaming for more yoga.
Initially, I viewed yoga as another “fitness” class. It was something that I used to improve my fitness and my running. It was something that strengthened my core. It was something that toned my weak upper body. It was a physical release.
Week after week, I began noticing improvements in my body. I was becoming stronger. I suddenly had muscles in my arms. My balance began to stabilize. And, surprisingly, my mind was becoming clearer. My thoughts became… structured. The web wreaking havoc on my mind began to unravel.
And unravel it did. My body image became healthier. My angry outbursts lessened. My language went from negative to positive. I started to not only love myself but to also love those around me. I began to accept. My confidence and self worth were born anew. Yoga, along with the LifePower Yoga community, became the enabler to a healthier, more positive way of life.
This fall, after five years of on-and-off practice during my battle to a better me, I made the next step in my journey. I enrolled in the LifePower Yoga Teacher Training program at LifePower Uptown in Minneapolis. It was time to further my practice and continue to grow as a yogi.
After a month-and-a-half of weekly Saturday classes, I am again seeing more positive change. My body is learning to move more gracefully and purposefully from pose to pose. My mind, through daily meditation, is gaining further clarity and releasing unwanted stress or agitation. And my creativity, especially in my career as a writer, is reaching new heights.
Simply, I’m learning to “be” in the moment.
But this change hasn’t been without setbacks. I still continue to battle my personal demons, and they still hamper my ability to be free, open and completely transparent.
Through the remainder of this program, I hope to continue to share my journey, including my progress and setbacks, to give you a peek inside the LifePower Yoga Teacher Training program at Life Time."
Om shanti. Namaste.